| 12/17/2002 4pm
I have just awoken from falling a sleep while watching the soaps.Evidently I needed the deep sleep.My head is spinning from the dream that awoke me.In my dream I was on the phone with you crying and I was telling you what had happened. In my dream I was happy and I always took the 4 cockatiels and Purrby Kat to the library everyday and they kept them and they were a blessing to those visiting.I had finished cleaning my apartment which was in a very large house.There were many apartments,the weather was cool in the dream as it is now but a bit more chilly.I walked across the street and everything was in disarray.Birds flying hither and yond,cats looking lost as there owners could not locate them.Many persons did as I did and left there animals at the library when they went to work or had chores to run and didn't want them to be alone.Faces of sadness and bewilderment abounded. All questions had but a few answers with no meaning. The personnel at the front desk (once you could find it) said you were warned to not leave your apartment.I said "What are you talking about"They had fear on there faces,they were telling stories they thought made a bit of sense.In actuality they knew little more then myself. Ok,the persons at the library said for everyone to gather the animals they could find.Only those that were left by them and go back home because these drug lords had taken over and were taking what they wanted and leaving what they felt as trash behind. I frantically searched and Purrby FOUND me,I located my teils and placed two on each of my shoulders...the parakeets were flying so wildly,I could only recognize one,it was Zanadu(named after my beloved Tweety)he was injured and I held him in my palm gently and walked towards home. On arrival~ nothing .Everything gone,everything. I went back to the library with a demand for my belongings back.They finally allowed me to see a secret room where furnishings and special items were placed by the drug lords.They told me to hurry and try to make some form of arrangement to get these things out that belonged too me. In just a few hours they also would be forever gone. I located Dad's chair,my desk that the bird cages were on,all the empty cages...looking as if a hurricane had passed through them.Personal papers strewn all about the room. Inside the cages were my treasured stones and crystals laying amidst the birdseed and feces. Just hours before the cages had housed my happy parakeets and other sweet birdies. I found a change purse mama had given me and figured I would need the small amount of change for bartering for food. There were many children around looking very lost without there games to play.They promised to care for the parakeets as long as they were there.Noone wanted to say too much,they were very much in fear of the drug lords and what they might do them.It was like wandering through a huge warehouse looking for familiar items of my life.Photo albums were mixed in with other families photo albums,same as the household items and furnishings.They(the drug Lords) had already taken the best things. Little did they know what dad's chair meant to me.The large table that I had bought with dad's approval,he said it was good wood.My picture albums,books and my Purrby,and my birdies. I was crying so hard I could barely speak on the phone to you to explain,in my dream a man was due home but he had no face in my dream,very nice but I haven't any clues who.I just knew he was someone that was for me and cared deeply for me. The key to my apartment of it's own accord bent in half in my hand. It was of no more use to me. Cynthia Martz |
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| I have read and reread these words over and over and again.I am in control of my past addictions but I will always be a ex addict.I think this dream was giving me lessons on what life would be like if I should ever return to my old ways.The crystals and the birds and my Purrby cat are just about the only things I would feel the need to rescue if that need should ever arise.The face of the unknown person that cared for me and about me was I think my father who passed in January 01.He was a morse code expert in the war(World War 2) and has contacted both myself and my sister,we both heard the distinct sounds of the morse code in our right ears within days of each other.She lives in Texas.When he first passed the visits were more frequent and I know he is in a peaceful place now because they come less often.He loved country music and more then once came to me through my PC earphones.It was a good thing once the oddity of it gave way with the pleasure of feeling him within me.I have a CD that I burned a candle on the day he was cremated.I should mention that my dad had a nub for his hand.Look at the picture.The candle melted on the CD and it was not touched since that day. You can plainly see his hand. The candle burned in the shape of a angel. |
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